nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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