Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she peed on how many people?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
