Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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