he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
