I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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