A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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