Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
