he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
