Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
