If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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