You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
