I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
