all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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