i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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