we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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