I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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