i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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