Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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