I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
