god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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