Sry I called you an 8
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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