he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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