I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
