hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
