u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
