ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
