i think my mom watched the whole time
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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