Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
