I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
