I wish I could teleport
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
