It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
