So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
