My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
