I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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