nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
