please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
