Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
