absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
