I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
