I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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