one might say we're banned from that church
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
