I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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