I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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