I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
