He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
