Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
