Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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