im drinking this country out of the recession.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
