I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
