yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
