Duck Duck Cougar?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
