My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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