Do vagina's smell?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
