before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
