We're like a lot better than the average bears
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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