i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
