That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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